When Not to Meditate
Meditation is often promoted to be a cure-all treatment for all sorts of issues; anxiety, depression, sleep problems, chronic pain etc etc.
But there is a deeper and possibly darker aspect to meditating which is often glossed over by the modern attitude for a quick fix. People often enter meditation hoping it will change how they are feeling (negative mood, anxious feelings, depression), but instead, meditating can bring us deeper in touch with ourselves - including the 'bad' bits. (Or as I have seen it phrased: “the scum rises to the surface”). And unless you are ready and/or being supported to do so, meditating can be a hugely challenging experience.
I do believe in all the positive aspects of meditation wholeheartedly.
However I had an experience which got me thinking long and hard about prescribing meditation for anyone and everyone at all times, and I came to this conclusion:
Sometimes - it's not good to meditate
The Negative Side of Meditation
I never thought that meditating could have unwanted or negative consequences. Despite all the research regarding the virtues of meditation - I have seen very little about the adverse effects of meditation. Most reported negative events involve Buddhist monks meditating for extremely long periods of time, often while fasting.
I managed to find one article which highlighted some of the issues I was concerned about for the layperson:
“Meditation while clinically depressed can result in intensification of feelings of despondency, hopelessness, and negativity generally. The metta practice is theoretically a good thing, but in practice it can be a nightmare if all you feel is self-hatred!” (Wild Mind - Buddhist Meditation)
Since then other articles have surfaced. The Atlantic wrote this article called “The Dark Side of Meditation” and this article in The Conversation discussed the negative side effects for up to 10% of people who practice meditation. There is now even a dedicated site to help people who have experienced adversities resulting from meditation practices (https://www.cheetahhouse.org/about-us).
My Personal Experience of Meditation
Several years ago, I took part in a Vipassana ten-day silent meditation retreat. I had been wanting to do this for a very long time. I was not an inexperienced meditator - I had previously completed five-day silent meditation retreats and meditated regularly at home.
I booked the Vipassana retreat a few months in advance. Unfortunately, about one week prior - the relationship I was in ended. I was upset and unsettled and needless to say, my mind was not in full form when I attended the retreat.
The short of the story - is that I spent 10 full days, living my own private version of hell.
Due to the style of the retreat, there was not only no talking and no eye contact, there was to be no reading, writing, or any form of communication with anyone, inside or outside the compound. Meditation began at 4.30 am and is spread throughout the day until 9 pm at night.
Throughout the experience, there were a lot of very negative thoughts in my head. I tend to be a person who can be a little hard on myself and I (in my wisdom) believed that I would conquer my somewhat disturbed mind and emerge full of light and love.
During the time, my sleep became more and more disturbed. I started have nightmares, the visions of the nightmares seemed to continue into the day. I became tense, agitated and increasingly depressed. Instead of feeling enlightened and full of light and love on day ten, I felt an anxious wreck. I was very happy to get out of there. I desperately wanted a hug, some kindness and good friends around me.
Because I am stubborn, I stuck it out. And it is only on reflection that I have been able to process that actually, sometimes, it really isn't good to sit with a mind that is stuck in a very negative space.
What other forms of meditation could help?
Other forms of meditation would have probably been more appropriate. Guided meditations. Meditations based on compassion and kindness. Mindful activity, mindfulness in general.
But simply left totally undistracted and alone to spend 10 hours of a day focusing on the breath and body sensations at that tender time, was not therapeutic, helpful or at that time, kind.
Connecting with others might be more beneficial in challenging times.
I continued to meditate for two hours a day when I returned home for a few months. As my mood improved, my thoughts and emotions were more settled and I could see that meditation was then helpful.
When not to meditate
I would never want to discourage meditation and I would do the Vipassana retreat again, but I would ensure I was in a good (or at least okay!) space before going.
Here is some advice if you are contemplating attending a retreat or even beginning a practice at home:
I encourage not to enter a solitary meditation retreat while acutely distressed, following a recent trauma or if a past trauma had recently resurfaced.
I would suggest that individuals be of sound and settled mind prior to entering any meditation practice. If concerned - check in with a therapist / meditation teacher regularly.
If someone is experiencing acutely distressing thoughts of self-harm - I would not encourage meditation
Meditation may be unhelpful for a person experiencing PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
Although meditation (and mindfulness) has been shown to be helpful in preventing depression and helping one to recover, beware of entering into meditation in an acutely distressed, depressed or anxious state.
If you already meditate and feel it helps - wonderful - please continue!
If you try meditating and feel that it’s contributing to negative thoughts or is re-traumatising - please stop. Listen to the little voice and get some help and self-care.
Each person is an individual - so please make the decision that is right for YOU.
A lesson learned.
If you want to know if meditation is the right thing for you at this time - feel free to get in touch with Helen.
Helen is a registered nurse, specialising in mental health from a holistic perspective. She is passionate about supporting people to have optimal mental health and well-being.
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References:
Article on Mental Health and Intensive Meditation Retreats
Dismantling mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for recurrent depression
Goldberg, S. B., Lam, S. U., Britton, W. B., & Davidson, R. J. (2022). Prevalence of meditation-related adverse effects in a population-based sample in the United States. Psychotherapy research : journal of the Society for Psychotherapy Research, 32(3), 291–305. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2021.1933646