How to find your Best Self
Your Best Possible Future Self
We all think and perhaps even daydream about our future – how it all might look – and try to hope for the best. Many times we can’t see a clear path from now to that gleaming future.
The ‘Best Possible Self’ exercise was developed to help us visualise what we might be in the future and through increasing optimism and improving mood, help us get there. The best possible self is a researched and studied approach to changing our mindset, improving coping skills and elevating levels of happiness.
To understand how to implement the best possible self-exercise in our daily routine, I’ll first discuss the origin of this approach and then move on to the instructions and step-by-step guide.
Origins of the Best Possible Self exercise
The Best Possible Self exercise was designed on the basis of previous research which suggested that visualising your “best self” boosted and sustained a positive mood and was able to “bring greater awareness and clarity to one’s priorities”.[1] Some time ago I did an online course titled "The Science of Happiness" (I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in what actually causes us to feel happy and have long-term joy. For more information click here). This specific exercise has been studied - comparing it to a 'Gratitude Exercise' - another popular mood-enhancing technique. It was found that:
People who completed this exercise daily for two weeks showed increases in positive emotions right after the two-week study ended. Those who kept up with the exercise even after the study was over continued to show increases in positive mood one month later
This exercise was designed on the basis of previous research which suggested that visualising your ‘best self’ boosted and sustained positive mood and was able to ‘bring greater awareness and clarity to one's priorities’(1). My experience of using this exercise for myself and my clients, is that those who take part experience over time, notice an improved mood, improved positive emotions and feel their lives are more purposeful and have more direction.
Description
The idea is to imagine how you would like to be living in the not too distant future (say 1-5 years). It's not just about your physical life (where you are living for example, or whether you are 5 kg lighter or not), it's also about how you feel when you are living the life you want to be living in the future.
The idea is to be quite specific and really connect with how you imagine life will be - all going well.
It only takes 15 minutes a day for two weeks. You can then do 15 minutes once a week or so, and re-engage this activity whenever you feel a need for a refresh/refocus/reset.
Research and Analysis of The Best Possible Self
Over the years there have been nearly 30 studies conducted on 2900 participants. Researchers have concluded that with consistent use of Best Possible Self exercise, people have improved their expectations, views and mindset, all contributing to better well-being.
Also, the exercise has shown to be more effective for older participants with shorter but more frequent practices.[2]
Furthermore, according to the Greater Good Website:
“By thinking about your best possible future self, you can learn about yourself and what you want in life. This way of thinking can help you restructure your priorities in life in order to reach your goals.
Additionally, it can help you increase your sense of control over your life by highlighting what you need to do to achieve your dreams”.[3]
What it does is that it helps you to keep in mind “where you want to be heading”. When this is at the forefront of your mind, you unconsciously or consciously make decisions which are in line with what you want in the future. Your "Best Possible Future Self' is helping guide your decisions now.
Your “Best Possible Future Self” is helping guide your decisions now.
For a more conscious approach, when making decisions about your life, relationship, job or future, ask yourself – Is what you are doing now the best for your future self? For your future relationships? For your career? Decisions can, therefore, be made with your future self in mind.
How to practice The Best Possible Self exercise
Before we move on to the instructions, it’s important to know that this is an investment in yourself. Like everything else, you will need to put time and effort into it. This means that for the first two weeks, you will need approximately 15-30 minutes a day.
Don’t be afraid to let your mind and creativity loose. Have a journal close by to record your thoughts and ideas. You can then do 15 minutes once a week and re-engage this activity whenever you feel a need for a refresh, refocus and reset. Some people have difficulty identifying with the wording of 'Best Possible Self' - if this is you, change the wording to suit you. People have used the wording 'Best Possible Life', or even 'If everything went to plan'.
Choose words that resonate with you. For me, personally, 'Best Possible Self' works perfectly. You will need approx 15 - 30 minutes (the first time you do this exercise will take more time), a pen/s and paper or journal.
For a downloadable PDF - click here.
The Best Possible Self Exercise Instructions:
Here are the modified original instructions:
Take a moment to imagine your life in the future (between 1-5 years).
What is the best possible life you can imagine? Consider all of the relevant areas of your life, such as your career, academic work, relationships, hobbies, and/or health. In this future, you have worked and succeeded at accomplishing your life goals. Think of this as the realisation of your life dreams, and of your own best potentials. Imagine:
Where are you living?
How are you spending your days?
What is your job?
What are the biggest changes or improvements you have made?
Who are you living with?
What’s different about your best future from today?
The more specific you are, the more engaged you will be with the exercise and the more you’ll get out of it. If you think about a new job, imagine exactly what you would do, who you would work with, and where it would be.
For the next 15 -30 minutes, write continuously about what you imagine this best possible future to be. Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.
It’s important, for the purpose of this exercise, to focus on the future. You may not have thought much about yourself in this way before, but research suggests that doing so can have a strong positive effect on your mood and life satisfaction.
It may be easy in this exercise to get stuck examining how your current life may not match this best possible future. You may be tempted to think about ways in which accomplishing goals has been difficult for you in the past, or about financial/time/social barriers to being able to make these accomplishments happen. However, the point is to use your imagination and allow yourself to think of all that could be possible.
For the next two weeks, spend 15 minutes a day reviewing and adding to this
imagining your ideal life in the future.
How to be (even more) effective with The Best Possible Self
To take it all one step further - get a large piece of paper - and using crayons (as we are not worried about artistic ability!), draw this ‘new’ you, in your surroundings, using pictures, words, colour etc. Place it on your wall, somewhere where you will see it every day. And - add to it when necessary, making adjustments as your desires or vision gets more specific.
Have fun, explore your potential possibilities and let your imagination run wild. It’s amazing what we can achieve when we allow ourselves to dream!
References:
Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualizing best possible selves. Journal of Positive Psychology, 1(2), 73-82
Greater Good In Action. Best Possible Self. Accessed 23rd May 2021. https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/best_possible_self(1) Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006).
Best Possible Self (Greater Good in Action). (2021). Berkeley.edu. https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/best_possible_self